Reality Check!

Well, reality is catching up with me and im feeling pretty sad about it. I feel like I have spent so many hours and many hard times and crapy days in the rain, snow, and wind to not even be able to compete a single outdoor season in a Cortland uniform. I only competed for a gran total of 3 seasons in a cortland uniform. thats only enough to cover 1 year of running. Now I am possibly looking at my college career being over before it was suposed to. I feel kind of empty. Only because I really would have enjoyed trying to run some good times on the outdoor track. So many great expectations that just never even start to happen. I am gunna miss running for Cortland. I really regret nothing but it is just a pity to have the same thing happen to me in college as what happened to me in high school, not getting to finish my last season. I have an extra indoor and outdoor eligability but I really want to get the Grad assistant job to help build my resume and to pay for grad school. I am kind tired of waiting and at the same time being over run by the current workload of school. I feel like I cannot fit anything more into my brain. I feel like I have a bad case of ADD where I just cant pay attention any longer. I cant seem to finish things that I start because I am too easily distracted. I am out of money and I dont have my running to go to as an outlet. I trust God that he has this situation for me for a purpose but I still sometimes His purpose is hard. I completely expected this but the reality of it didnt hit me until I got deep enough in. I just pray that what ever happens is to God's good purpose and if I suffer for it, may god comfort me through it.